


Super Amazing Hearing

by ecto_gammat



Category: Space Cases (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-03
Updated: 2011-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-15 08:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecto_gammat/pseuds/ecto_gammat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Harlan Band wished Andromedans didn't have super amazing hearing, and one time he was very, very grateful they did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Super Amazing Hearing

One  
“Once one thoroughly understands the changes in slope, one can fully grasp the complete concept of a derivative and begin to study calculus. Remind me, what is the simplest formula for finding slope?"

“Rolling Rainbow-Head down a hill?" Harlan had learned to mutter as quietly as possible when around Radu, even when Radu _wasn't_ around, since the _Christa's_ walls seemed to have ears. It rarely did him any good. Harlan grimaced. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Radu try to contain his smirk and failing spectacularly.

Ms. Davenport didn’t even need to turn around.

“Mister Band, that's three demerits for whatever smart aleck remark you just made. I'll see you after the lecture.”

Two  
Harlan almost made it to the jump tubes, almost made it to dinner, and almost escaped Commander Goddard; but not tonight.

“Mister Band, we need to talk.”

Harlan turned and begrudgingly stood at attention, fully expecting to only half-listen.

Goddard began to pace, his voice rising ever so slightly with each passing word. “I'm well acquainted with your pranks, Band. I also know that you've been trying to behave lately, and that makes me suspicious. But really, did you think I'd never hear about the 'magical Radu vanishing trouser trick'?”

Harlan was stunned. That plan was too perfect, too blameless, too hilarious for any repercussions to fall solely on him. “Man! Who talked?”

“No one needed to. I know everything that happens on this ship. I see all, I hear all, I know all.” Goddard stepped closer. “And I hear you've got some pretty interesting ideas cooking in that brain of yours. I want you to know that if any of the things I heard might happen, actually happen, I'm shoving you in a box in the cargo hold for the rest of the trip. And then I’ll probably forget about you.”

“If you can find it.”

“Get out of here, Band.”

“With pleasure, sir.” Harlan raced towards the jump tubes and his dinner, while trying to figure out just _how_ the Commander heard those fantastic plans.

“Where've you been, Harlan?” Rosie piped. “We started without you. I hope you don't mind.”

“Just getting chewed out for things that haven't even happened yet.” Harlan sat and contemplated eating. “Come to think of it, how did Goddard hear about that stuff, anyway? Cat and I had planned so... Hey, Cat?”

Catalina stopped mid-bite and stared.

“Did you happen to discuss any of those perfect plans with Rosie?”

Catalina’s stare continued. Rosie joined in.

“And could those plans have been overheard by an alien with bad hair?”

“I do _not_ have bad hair.”

“No denial!” Harlan jumped off his seat. “What was it? Revenge? Did you run to Goddard because of the pants thing?”

“No!” Radu was flustered. He hated being put on the spot. “It just kind of...came up...while Goddard interrogated me about the state of my pants.”

Harlan strode towards the jump tubes, fully intending to pout and mope for the rest of the night. “Why do you have to hear everything, man?”

Three  
 _We could have lost them,_ Harlan thought, _Bova and Radu... they could be dead right now, all because of m--_

“It is unwise to roam corridors without looking where you are going.” Harlan had plowed headfirst into Thelma, something he usually tried to avoid. Thelma tended to give rather odd advice. “You could end up falling into an industrial-sized meat grinder or some other equally unpleasant fate.”

“Thanks, Thelma. I'll watch out for wild, giant grinders.”

“Is something wrong? You do not seem your usual self today.” Thelma cocked her head and attempted to emulate a look of concern. That was what Thelma did when a crewmember was upset.

“I'm just... Y'know? Never mind. That bump was just what I needed to clear my head. Thanks, Thelma.” Harlan clapped her on the back and headed toward the bunkroom, muttering as he walked.

“What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry for almost getting you killed, Radu. You were only out there because I didn't want such a boring mission’.”

“That's why I went? You didn't want to be bored?”

Harlan swore under his breath, not wanting to turn around.

“I heard that.”

“Of course you did. You hear _everything_!” Harlan turned around and faced a stone-faced Radu. “I didn't mean that, man. The whole 'you-almost-dying-in-space' thing...”

“Save it,” Radu interrupted. “I know where I stand.” He turned and left; Harlan cursed again.

"I heard that, too!”

Four  
“Harlan,” a gentle shake, “Hey Harlan...” a firm grip “…you alright?” _owowowowow_

“Stop squeezing me! I was dead asleep. What'd you have to wake me for?” Harlan sat up, quite angry.

“You were talking in your sleep. Well, not like _talking_ talking, but just enough, y'know?”

“What do you mean, ‘talking’?” Harlan sat up, eyeing the room suspiciously. “Where’d Bova go?”

“Something about midnight snacking. He’ll be back in about 45 minutes or so. Everything okay, Harlan?” Radu looked genuinely concerned. “Whatever you were dreaming, it sounded…”

Harlan could feel his cheeks burning. Of course he dreamed on the night of Ms. Davenport’s introduction of 20th Century Romantic Literature. _”As if harlequin romances counted as literature,”_ he had heard Catalina scoff.

And Radu had to be a light sleeper.

“It was nothing. Just going over my notes from class.” Harlan swung his legs off the bunk. He could tell, even without looking, that Radu didn’t believe him. But knowing Radu, he wouldn’t question Harlan’s excuse.

“Well, if you ever wanna… y’know…” Radu shrugged and climbed back into his own bed. “Harlan… Look, Harlan, I promise I won’t tell what I heard, but you mentioned something about ‘him’, ‘he won’t notice.’ Who were you talking about?”

Harlan nearly swallowed his tongue and looked for any excuse to get out of that bunkroom. “I’m gonna go get some water.”

When Harlan left the bunkroom, Radu smiled to himself and settled back into his bunk.

Five  
There were times when Harlan needed to be alone. On a ship like the _Christa_ , privacy was rare and treasured. He took painstaking measures to find a solitary spot to...think.

And Harlan, as all healthy young men, _thought_ a lot.

And sometimes, when he felt it was safe, Harlan let himself become lost in his thoughts and less aware of his surroundings.

But today, Harlan was in a room full of books. A room he didn't know existed until he found it last week. Lost in thought, he let himself go and allowed a few quiet moans to escape. But today, a sudden call to the Command Post interrupted his thinking.

And as Harlan quickly collected himself and ran out of the room, he nearly crashed into Radu. As he watched the blush burn into the Andromedan's cheeks, Harlan cursed the day he ever thought it was a good idea to start _thinking_.

And One Time  
“Oh come on, Harlan, there is _no way_ that move is in the game!”

“Chill out, Cat. It was only one little hack.”

“I'm going to go find Bova. At least _he_ doesn't cheat at video games.”

“Leave the bowl! We don't need you hogging all the snacks and getting fatter!” Harlan immediately regretted shouting that as he dodged not only the bowl Catalina was holding, but also several other dishes, a few pillows, and a random shoe.

 _Well worth it,_ Harlan thought, _because now I've got the chips_. He grabbed the bowl, threw a rather large handful into his mouth, and promptly started choking. In his celebration of victory and haste for snacking, Harlan forgot the all-important concept of chewing. He started coughing and panicking and gasping, while cursing himself for not paying more attention to Ms. Davenport's health and safety lectures...

His unconsciousness was short lived, as Harlan was jolted back to reality by an immense, cracking pain in his ribs.

“Wake up, Harlan!” _Hruf_ “Don't make me squeeze harder!” _Hraauf_ _crack_ “Are you alright, Harlan?”

Harlan felt himself being lowered back to a sitting position. As his vision returned, he saw the hair of what could only be assumed was a concerned Andromedan.

“I... I was walking back to the bunkroom and... well... Are you alright? Do you want me to go get Rosie?”

Harlan coughed a few more times and cleared his throat. “Yeah... I think I'm alright.” He grasped at Radu's shoulders. “Thanks, man. I owe you one.”

Radu smiled in that small, “aw, shucks” way that made Harlan want to laugh, but laughing was painful. Very painful.

Actually, so was breathing.

“You know, I think I'll take you up on that trip to the sick bay. You did a number on my ribs.”


End file.
